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My goal for this blog was simply to make people laugh and give them something interesting to read. I think my blog has grown into a successful source for humor, as some commenters have let me know. It was a little difficult to come up with an idea for my blog, but once I had this idea in mind, it took off running. At first I felt a little strange about posting things on the internet for anyone to see, but once I got used to that part of it, I enjoyed posting. It was fun for me to find the topics I posted about. I didn’t choose to alter my blog very much from the first few posts, although I did change up the subjects a little bit for variety. I actually enjoyed creating this blog a lot for this class. I probably won’t keep blogging after this, mainly because I won’t be required to keep up with it anymore, and will forget about it. But it was interesting to develop this blog over the semester, and I’m proud of what it became.


License and Registration please…

We’ve all most likely had some sort of encounter with law enforcement throughout our lifetime. Whether it be peaceful or stressful, no one like interactions with the police. For some reason, even when I know I am not doing anything wrong, police officers just make me nervous. We all HATE getting pulled over by the police. And it always seems to happen on the worst day, at the worst time. Here is a list that might brighten your day if you get pulled over…

8 Things You Never Say to the Police

1. “Ok officer, Ill get my registration. Can you just hold my beer for me??”

2. “Sorry about that, my police scanner wasn’t plugged’ll understand right?”

3. “The last officer only gave me a warning too!”

4. “You look familiar..did I see you in an episode of COPS??”

5. “Nice gun your carrying, check mine out!”

6. “I’m surprised you stopped me, Dunkin’ Doughnuts closes soon..”

7. “No, I’m not sure how fast I was going. The needle stops at 110 mph.”

8. “You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?”

Will that be delivery?

We all dread making that phone call to order the pizza. Not really sure why it makes us so nervous, but we’ve all been in that situation where everyone looks at each other and says “So who wants to call?” I have a list that might break the ice when ordering your food..

8 Silly Things to Say When Ordering Pizza : )

1. Tell the person to hold on a second because you have to take another call. Do this several times.

2. When they ask what you want say “Oh just surprise me!” and hang up.

3. Ask the order taker what they are wearing.

4. Speak in different accents on the phone, changing the accent every minute or so.

5. Say “hello?” like they called you and pretend you didn’t call them.

6. Ask them if you get to keep the pizza box for free.

7. Ask what kind of car the delivery person will be driving. When they tell you, say “ugh that’s just not acceptable for my pizza.”

8. End the call with “If anyone asked…we never had this conversation…”

Kids say the darndest things…

Listening to little kids talk can be the funniest experience. Most of the time, they say things that you would never imagine to come out of a toddler’s mouth! I have a little niece that I babysit a lot and she says the cutest things all the time. Here are some funny quotes..

8 Funny Little Kid Quotes : )

1. “When your dad is mad and asks you, ‘Do I look stupid?’ don’t answer.” Hannah, 9

2. “Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac. ” Andrew, 5

3. “You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. ” Chris, 7

4. “When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she’s on the phone. ” Alesha, 10

5. “Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. ” Michael, 6

6. (Seeing his mother breast feeding his little sister) “Mommy, why do you have two? One for hot milk and one for cold milk?” Jack, 3

7. “Whenever I forgot how old I am, I just look in the back of my undies. Mine says ‘5-6’.” Melanie, 5

8. “When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. ” Madison, 6

Did you know??

So I don’t know about you guys, but I love random facts. You learn something new and it’s really interesting! Most random facts are about things you wouldn’t even think about. Here are some interesting facts you might not know.

8 Random Facts : )

1. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

2. Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

3. Conception occurs more often in December than any other month.

4. If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

5. The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field.

6. There are more chickens than people in the world.

7. You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

8. The only place you can actually tickle yourself is with your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

Skip the lines…

Pick up lines can be the worst or the best thing you can say to a stranger. Depending on how terrible the line is, the person will either tell you to get lost or laugh at how cheesy you are and it can start a conversation. Usually it’s the first option, though. Pick up lines are just better avoided.                                 But just for laughs, here are some extra cheesy ones.

8 Cheesy Pick-up Lines : )

1. “Something is wrong with my cell phone…..your number isn’t in it!”

2. “I can’t find my teddy bear, will you cuddle with me instead?”

3. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”

4. “Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here!”

5. “My friends call me (insert name here), but you can call me later!

6. “I hope you know CPR, because your taking my breath away.”

7. “If you were a lazer, your setting would be stunning..”

8. “See my friends over there? He wants to know if you think I’m cute.”

Pass the toilet paper?

Ok, so we all know that public restrooms are awkward to begin with. Who wants to go to the bathroom with four other people in the room? Especially in dorms. You all know each other, so you’ll know exactly who did what in the bathroom. It gets a little strange. Ever think about some crazy or funny things people could do in public restrooms? Well don’t worry, I’ve got another list to ease your mind!

8 Random Things to Do in a Public Restroom : )

1. Comment on the shoes of the person next to you.

2. Sing, or better yet rap, your favorite song loudly in the stall.

3. While someone is washing their hands, reach over and turn the faucet off, and say “Save some for the fishes buddy…” and shake your head and walk away.

4. Put on hand puppets and perform a show under the stall for the person next to you.

5. Knock on occupied stalls and ask them if they know where you can find the bathroom.

6. (For the guys) Ask the guy next to you if he “happens to have a tampon on him”.

7. Slip notes under the stalls that say encouraging things like “You can do it!” and “It’s gonna be a good day for you!”

8. Drop a pair of underwear on the floor under the stall and ask the person to kick them back over to you.

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